


We Love Food OK?

by eustassya



Series: The Nations x Crack [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: BTT crack, Bad Touch Trio, Hetalia crack, I REGRET NOTHING, M/M, trash it's all trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustassya/pseuds/eustassya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad Touch Trio crack. That's all it is really. They just  -uh- love their food?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prussia x Milkshake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Erwin_is_fabulous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erwin_is_fabulous/gifts).



> Hi, this is yet another bunch of my trash sorry :c
> 
> Um.. Idk what to say.. Sorry? Hahaha good luck reading this and please leave a comment if you like it or want more or have any good crack fic ideas! Thanks guys~
> 
> Dedicated to my lovely Francis, who started me on writing this shit I call crack

"Ahh..! Milkshake-san!" Prussia gasped as he took a sip of the heavenly drink.

The thick white liquid filled his mouth. It was like having an orgasm.

" _Gurgle_ " the substance replied.

"Who brings all the boys to the yard? You, you do, Milkshake-san.." He started his pathetic attempt to flirt with the drink.

 _Um._ Milkshake-san thought, gurgling again.

"I.. I love you.." His face heated up as he announced it, looking at the drink with a burning passion.

 _What the fuck?_ Milkshake-san stared at him. _Human are you serious_

"Please marry me, Milkshake-san!" He held out a ring.

" _Gurgle_ " said the drink tinting a light shade of pink.

"You will!? Awesome!" Prussia sighed happily, bringing his hand up to dramatically show his relief. "

Oh shit" Prussia yelled as he accidentally knocked the drink over.

Goodbye, Milkshake-san

And Prussia is single yet again


	2. France x Baguette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Francis and his French bread, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,'tis I, Asahi-sama, back with yet another chapter of pure trash. Enjoy.

"Mon petite baguette.." France murmured seductively as he caressed the crumbly crust of the bread.

_What. The. Actual._ Baguette-san thought, staring at the French nation currently invading his privacy.

"You're so beautiful.. Perfect shaped, perfectly baked, browned to perfection.. You're the only one for-" The blonde's romantic ramblings was cut off as he suddenly received a fist to the face. He yelped in pain and surprise, falling backwards off his chair and hitting the floor with a muffled thud. Wincing and rubbing his face, France looked up to see his dearest neighbour, England. "What was that for, rosbif?!"

Said rosbif was glaring down at him, face flushed red in anger and eyes shining with unshed tears, arms crossed over his chest and gloved hands gripping his arms tight. "You would cheat on me.. with a.. with a BAGUETTE?! It's fucking bread!" He shouted, torn between being upset at France and wondering if the other nation was drunk.

France simply smiled cooly and rubbed his injured cheek, getting up and seating himself back on the chair. Baguette-san wanted to sigh, but couldn't due to his lack of mouth and lungs. "I just simply _love_ baguette, though.." The Frenchman sighed instead, happily, and gazed down at Baguette-san with loving eyes.

England looked incredulous, glare intensifying and arms going limp by his sides. "Fine! Be that way, then! See if I care when you realise that it's. just. bread." He left the room in a huff, slamming the door hard, mumbling to himself about disloyal frogs and stupid French food.

...... Baguette-san was still confused. _I thought people are supposed to eat me, not talk about how much they love me before they taste me. Maybe this guy is mentally unstable._ France went back to molesting him and Baguette-san internally sighed. The life of bread is miserable indeed.

France returned to Baguette-san, showering it with affection and giving it kisses and love. "Oh, my lovely Baguette, how I love you.. Je te'aime, mon petite Baguette.." And England? He secretly plotted revenge on the French stick.


End file.
